Trans Women and Breastfeeding: A Personal Interview

Update: Read my interview with Jenna, another trans woman, here. Read my interview with health care providers who have assisted trans women with lactation here.

So far, this blog has exclusively addressed issues faced by transmasculine folks. I started writing it from my personal experience, and I am transmasculine. However, I've received several questions from trans women who are interested in breastfeeding. After doing some Google searches, I realized that just as there is little to no information for trans men on this topic, there is not much written for trans women. In particular, I haven't found any personal accounts or interviews. I will try to do my part to fill a little bit of this gap. This is part one of a mini-series on trans women and lactation. Enjoy!

Trans women, individuals who were assigned male at birth but identify and live as women, CAN breastfeed. It is possible, and totally awesome! Health care providers, volunteer breastfeeding counsellors, and trans women themselves need to learn this important, empowering fact.

Over the last few weeks, I spoke a couple of times with a trans woman and mother, who we'll call Sarah, to better understand how she became a parent and successfully induced lactation. Sarah's baby is now more than a year old and they still enjoy a wonderful breastfeeding relationship. I'll give a bit of background here on conception and then launch into our lactation interview.

Sarah and her wife are both genetic parents to their baby. Sarah explained to me that many doctors, endocrinologists and trans women erroneously believe that after taking antiandrogens and hormone replacement therapy for a relatively short period of time (depending on who you're talking to, they may say something between six months and two years), a trans woman will be permanently infertile, despite not having had 'bottom surgery'. This is to say that even if she halts her hormone therapy, it is claimed that she will not be able to produce viable gametes. Sarah believes this claim is based not on science, but on a widespread lack of understanding of trans women’s bodies and many healthcare professionals’ lack of interest in helping them preserve their fertility.

Despite having taken hormone replacement therapy and antiandrogens for 5 years, Sarah was still able to produce what she calls ‘baby-making ingredients’ following a six-month cessation of her medication. Trans women hoping to help make a little munchkin should note that it takes about three months for their gametes to grow and mature. In addition, this genetic material is very sensitive to heat and needs to develop away from the body, below core body temperature. A trans woman who usually ‘tucks’ will need to change how she dresses for a while to regain her fertility.

Sarah banked her gametes, a choice she believes all trans women should be offered. Another five years later, when she and her wife decided to conceive, Sarah went off her hormones once again to obtain a fresh DNA contribution if possible. She was again successful, after a total of ten years on hormones and antiandrogens. The couple was able to conceive at home, an option that was far less expensive than using the previously banked material at a clinic.

They chose to have a homebirth because they wanted to avoid unnecessary medical interventions. As a lesbian couple, they were also worried about their relationship being questioned by hospital employees.

SARAH: We had the most incredible midwife for the birth. When we first met her, we explained our situation, and she used the term "non-gestational mom," which I’d never heard before. I loved that when confronted with a situation that had been confusing for so many doctors and nurses, she had a perfect, descriptive word for my relationship to my baby, right on the tip of her tongue and didn’t stumble over whether to use ‘non-biological’ or ‘donor’ or something else inappropriate. I'm one of the two genetic moms of my baby, but I'm the non-gestational mom.

ME: So you didn't have to educate your midwife at all about trans issues. That's awesome! What steps did you take to induce lactation? Which health care providers did you approach for help?

SARAH: I didn't know where to start. I looked through my health insurance booklet for an endocrinologist. There was a section that said "reproductive endocrinologist," which sounded just right. I called a couple of different offices until I got someone to call me back.

I said to the nurse, "Here's what I'm looking for. I know that this doctor doesn't have any experience with this, because NO ONE has any experience with it. I'm not looking for her to know what's going on, but I have an idea what I want to do, and I think I know what I need. I just want somebody to work with me."

When I saw the doctor, she said, "I think this is very unlikely to work, but I'm happy to help you try."

I didn't feel like she added that much to the process, other than prescribing the hormones I needed.

ME: When did you first think that you might breastfeed?

SARAH: We definitely thought about it before we got pregnant. It had been a vague part of our plan. I was inspired by the book, Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Moms Tell All. As an aside, I really don’t like this use of the word ‘non-biological,’ referring to both parents and trans people. Just because we transitioned, or just because someone's not genetically linked to their child, that doesn’t mean we’re made of styrofoam. We’re flesh and blood, we have real live bodies that are ours, and that hold and love our children. There is no such thing as a non-biological person. But reading the book was really worthwhile, and one of the things that struck me was the difference in a mom's experience when she had not had a breastfeeding relationship with her baby. I wanted our roles in caring for our baby to be defined as little as possible by who gave birth to him, and for us to be able to give the same kind of comfort to him. As we started reading more, I got pretty attached to the idea of breastfeeding and really hoped it would work out.

ME: What medications did you take to induce lactation?

SARAH: People sometimes say that birth control pills ‘simulate pregnancy.’ Another effect of this medication is to stimulate the development of breast tissue. If you haven't been through a normal female puberty and haven't had progestins in your system, birth control pills are necessary to help build milk ducts and glandular tissue. Estrogen increases during pregnancy, and then after birth it drops sharply.

I modified the Newman/Goldfarb protocol for induced lactation a bit, since I was already taking hormones. I started replacing my usual estrogen with birth control pills (Nortrel 1/35, each pill contains 1mg of a progestin and 0.035mg of synthetic estradiol) about six months before our baby's birth. Closer to the due date, I added half my regular dose of estrogen, and then stopped taking it after the birth. Two weeks after the birth I started pumping and taking domperidone. [Note: Domperidone is a drug generally used to control nausea, but has the side effect of increasing lactation output, often quite dramatically. Domperidone for breastfeeding support is an off-label use of the drug. It can be difficult to obtain for that purpose in some countries such as the US. In others, it is much more commonly available.]

ME: We know that breastfeeding works via a supply and demand system. If the baby does not take enough milk from the gestational mother, her body will produce less milk as a result. If the baby nurses more and demands more milk, the gestational mom will produce more. In the early weeks, the amount that a baby nurses and draws milk helps to determine the gestational mother's milk supply later on. Having the baby nurse from you, Sarah, would also increase your supply, since a healthy baby is more efficient than a breast pump at removing milk from the breast. What did you do after your baby was born? How did you protect your wife's milk supply while bringing in your own?

SARAH: We wanted my wife to breastfeed him exclusively for about the first 4-6 weeks so that she could establish her supply. I pumped during that time. After about the third day of pumping, I started to produce some milk. It was weird, because I was used to pumping and pumping and not getting anything. I looked down that day and there were tiny milky droplets, and they were firm, almost like wax. I kept pumping, and I kept getting that weird consistency, and then the next day, it was softer. It got thinner until it was just milk. I didn't expect it to come in like that – it didn’t come in all at once like my wife’s milk did after she gave birth. It came gradually and it took days before the first drop fell into the pump bottle. But it looked like milk, smelled like milk, and tasted like melted ice cream. You could put it in your coffee or whatever!

ME: How was your experience of latching your baby in the beginning?

SARAH: It probably helped that it wasn't his first attempt. He pretty well knew what he was doing. He’d been nursing on my wife since he was five minutes old. I did find that, especially when I was very full of milk, my breasts were not really soft enough to go into his mouth. Some lactation consultants recommend making a sandwich to help smush your breast into the baby's mouth, and I had to do that. When he was little, I don't think he could get my breast far back enough in his mouth to trigger the sucking reflex without quite a bit of help from me. But after a few months I didn’t have to do that anymore. My wife and I both had more issues with nursing early on than we do now, because when babies are so small, you can't really get very much [breast tissue] in and you have to hold their head at just the right angle.

ME: Yeah, it gets so much easier as they get bigger and stronger. How did you and your wife share nursing duties?

SARAH: When I started nursing, my milk came in quite slowly, so it didn't seem to have any effect on my wife's supply. I would pump every time he nursed on her, and at first, she would try to pump every time he nursed on me. That way we wouldn't be hurting each other's supply. After a couple of months, we stopped pumping. We were sharing nursing and had a freezer full of milk – we decided to just let it be. Neither of us had enough milk to keep him happy all day long, but we both stayed home from work for quite a while so it worked out well.

ME: How was the experience of co-nursing overall?

SARAH: The breastfeeding relationship with my son is so amazing, it's more wonderful than I ever imagined. I feel so connected to him, and he is so bright and independent and I think part of that is having such secure attachments to both his moms. Plus, it's incredibly convenient. I think all parents who can manage to do it should try. In the early months we got twice as much sleep because we were cosleeping and he just rolled back and forth between us to nurse when he needed to. ["Or half as much sleep", Sarah's wife joked.] Either of us could take him out for an afternoon without worrying about bottles or getting him back home in time for a feed.

Then when our baby was about six weeks old, my wife had to go to the hospital for surgery. She was there for almost a week.

ME: Wow, how lucky that you were both nursing then!

SARAH: It was really, really lucky. We didn’t get good breastfeeding support from the hospital. We had doctors insisting she not breastfeed because of medications when our midwife and lactation consultant knew it was fine. They gave us no support with pumping. I think that for a lot of moms a situation like that could have been the end of the breastfeeding relationship, and it was a huge help that we were both able to nurse him.

ME: Do you have any idea how much milk you ended up producing?

SARAH: It's changed over time. I'm working outside the home now. I was pumping at work for the first four months, but he’s nursing less now and I’ve stopped needing to pump. Our baby is eating solid foods really well now. He still loves nursing and when he comes home he really wants a feed. Back when we were full on breastfeeding exclusively all the time... when I woke up in the morning if I hadn't nursed a lot overnight, I could pump and get 4 ounces.

ME: That's amazing! Lots of gestational moms have trouble pumping that much.

SARAH: Yeah, I had a lot of milk! I didn’t expect inducing lactation to work so well. When my wife was in the hospital and he was nursing on me all the time, I did have quite a bit of pain. We sorted that out with our midwife who realized I probably had low-grade thrush, which makes everything very painful. At first, I thought, "It must just hurt to breastfeed this much." I found out that it wasn't normal and we fixed it.

ME: Are you still taking domperidone now?

SARAH: I tried to wean off domperidone. The dose you have to take to induce lactation is quite high. I slowly reduced my dosage. I found though that if I took less than four 10 mg tablets per day, then my supply really suffered. The protocols for induced lactation say that if you take domperidone, you will probably need to take it until you wean. It's not quite the same self-regulating supply and demand system as experienced by a gestational parent. Also, I'm taking half of my pre-breastfeeding dose of estrogen, which is not recommended while nursing because it can have a negative effect on milk supply. It is considered safe for the baby though.

As well, I'm currently taking one combination birth control pill that is mostly a progestin. A lot of literature says that progestin is not advised for trans women because there is supposedly 'no benefit' to it: it doesn’t increase breast size over estrogen alone. But that is not why I take it. When I was preparing to induce lactation [and taking progestins], my moods were so fantastic. I felt much more calm and loving, and I just really liked how I felt in myself. So, I decided after being just on estrogen for a while that I wanted to go back to having a progestin as well.

ME: Did you try to get help with lactation from any other care providers besides your midwife and endocrinologist?

SARAH: I wrote to La Leche League through their web site where you can send a message to a local volunteer. I asked if they knew anything about what we were trying to do. The response I got back was from somebody saying I didn't have real breasts so I obviously couldn't breastfeed. It was from somebody definitely not educated about trans issues. I think this is actually quite commonplace among health care providers, too. I don’t know what goes on in some people’s heads about trans women – I guess they think we all strap on rubber boobs or something? Yet some feel qualified to give medical advice in spite of their total lack of knowledge.

ME: People also focus so much on the amount of milk that is made and not on the relationship. So what if you didn't produce a drop of milk?

SARAH: Yeah, exactly. People should be supported to breastfeed however they can do it. I think it's a shame that so many people don't think about trans people's bodies being capable of breastfeeding, and that they don't consider and value the breastfeeding relationship. They think it's just about gestational moms and that no one else can do it. That presents two problems: how they think about breastfeeding, and how they think about trans people as well. Health care providers need to be more flexible and help trans people have more control over our own healthcare. We deserve to have the same choices that most other people have when it comes to our fertility and to caring for our children.

Big thank you to Sarah for sharing her thoughts and experiences with us! Read the next post in this series on trans women and lactation – I spoke with lactation consultant, Mary Lynne Biener, and Dr. Jack Newman from the International Breastfeeding Centre in Toronto, and with Diana West, IBCLC.

Read my interview with Jenna, another trans woman who breastfed her baby.

Did you find this post helpful? This blog is not supported by ads, so please consider making a donation using the button on the side.

The Gay, Breastfeeding HOCKEY Dad?

Last week we celebrated our son's second birthday! We've been breastfeeding for two years.

Jacob is still dedicated to 'nay-nay.' He asks to nurse frequently throughout the day, always nurses to sleep for his nap, and still breastfeeds many times during the night.

His other main passion is hockey! We play hockey every day, inside and out, we read hockey books, and watch hockey videos on YouTube.

How did the gay, breastfeeding dad end up with such a hockey-loving son, you ask? A few months ago, we took Jacob swimming at a sports complex that also had a hockey rink. On a whim, we wandered in to watch the game that was going on, and our kid has been hooked ever since. That day, he watched the big kids playing and hitting the boards. He eagerly called out, "Owee! Crash!" and immediately learned the words 'hockey,' 'puck,' 'net,' and 'goal.' He sobbed in anguish, toddler-style, when the game was over and it was time to go home.

Another word my son shouts during hockey games is 'nay-nay.' When he sees a player take a hard fall, he insists the guy should nurse. It's what makes sense to him. I've nursed Jacob several times when we're both wearing skates and parkas following owees of his own on the ice at our community club.

I have a feeling that both hockey and nursing will be with us to stay for quite a while, and I'm curious to see how that will play out. These days, I get approving smiles from the macho hockey dads who see us at the ice rink. "He just loves it!" I tell them. They respond with, "It's good to start 'em young! Good on ya." We do some skating on our own and then usually find a place to nurse for a bit to recover from the cold. So far no one's noticed.

I'm trying to imagine nursing Jacob in a year or two amongst the other hockey dads after he's cut his lip in an 'owee crash.' I can't quite picture it yet, but I'm sure we'll find our way, and hopefully make some friends in the process.

 

Queering Arizona's Toilets

The Arizona state legislature is considering passing a bill that would prohibit a person from using a restroom that is not associated with the sex listed on his or her birth certificate. A large part of me feels like this is too stupid to bother blogging about. Another part of me can't stop laughing. My serious side is extremely concerned by the fact that, if this bill was to actually pass, transgender men and women in Arizona would likely face an increase in violence.

Perhaps a visual would help. Below is a photo of Buck Angel, a transgender man. Representative John Kavanagh, the genius behind this piece of legislation, is insisting that men like Buck should use the women's restroom.

Buck Angel

The basics of the proposed legislation is this: if you go to the "wrong" potty and get caught, you could be jailed for six months. The idea is ridiculous for a number of obvious reasons. Who will police and enforce this law? Will people have to show their birth certificates (not just their driver's licenses, even!) before they can pee? Yes, we could joke quite a bit here about the "potty police".

The terrifying aspect of this bill is that it would force already vulnerable trans women to use men's restrooms. As Ida Hammer from the Trans Women's Anti-Violence Project points out, violence against trans people is almost always committed against trans women. In 2009, 50% of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and HIV-affected (LGBTQH) murder victims were trans women. However, trans people only make up 1% of the LGBTQH population. Obligating trans women to use men's washrooms is asking for trouble – this forces them to out themselves and highlight their transgender identity in order to pee.

It is evident that Representative Kavanagh has no knowledge of the transgender community. He reportedly stated that "this law simply restores the law of society: Men are men and women are women." I believe that he thinks all transgender people are trans women in the midst of transition or who do not pass easily.

Kavanagh wants these women, the intended target of his legislation, to use men's facilities, presumably because he thinks that they look like men and are "actually" men. What he doesn't realize is that there are many trans women and lots of trans men who no one would ever suspect as being trans. For example, if I walked into a women's bathroom today (under Kavanagh's proposed law, I would have to – my birth certificate says female), I'm sure the women there would be rather surprised. The effects of testosterone therapy (facial hair, male pattern baldness, thickened vocal chords resulting in a deep voice, etc) are extremely powerful for most trans guys, who virtually always pass as male. Even though I stopped taking testosterone a couple of years ago to have a baby, I still pass (and identify) as male at all times.

Kavanagh's bill would result in queering washrooms, not straightening them out. Trans men who are indistinguishable from cisgender (non-trans) men would have to use women's bathrooms. Hence, Kavanagh wants Buck Angel in the ladies' room. In a certain way, I think this could be great! If trans men were to obey such a law, the general public would suddenly realize just how many trans people there really are and how "normal" we look (not to mention that we all have to pee, just like everyone else). It's hilarious to think that Kavanagh's bill would inadvertently turn restrooms into mixed gender spaces. I've often thought that doing away with gender-segregated restrooms would be nice.

Using a Supplementer Long-Term

I've been thinking about this post for ages and was finally inspired to sit down and write it when someone asked me for advice on the matter. So, thank you for the question!

On demand, supplemented nursing sessions with a newborn or young baby seemed obvious enough. When Jacob was hungry, we fed him. When he wanted more, we gave him more. I almost always used supplement during our nursing sessions.

When we introduced solid foods, we assumed that food would take the place of some of the donated breast milk we were continually struggling to find. To our surprise and dismay, it didn't seem to work that way. Jacob took a long time to really get good at eating solids, and even once he did, he never seemed to want any less milk. I sometimes tried to nurse him without using supplement, but he strongly preferred the fast flow that he was used to. Some people suggested not using supplement at night, yet I found that if I didn't he would get increasingly frustrated until he was wide awake. If I used the supplement, I could get him back down to sleep much more easily in the middle of the night (not that it has ever been easy, per se...).

I casually asked friends what they thought I should do, and several pointed out that if a parent with normal milk making capacity nurses frequently, he or she will continue to produce plenty of milk even as the child gets older. In contrast, a La Leche League Leader explained that as the baby gets older, the parent's milk supply naturally decreases. Others noted that babies who were bottlefed typically still get, even as toddlers, a large bottle of milk before going to bed and another one for nap time.

Around the time I was trying to figure out how to proceed, I saw a post in my parenting group from a mom of a 14 month old baby. She was newly pregnant, and her milk supply had disappeared. Her 14 month old still badly wanted to nurse, but this was painful for the mom. They went through a challenging weaning process and the mom started giving bottles of donated breast milk. Her child needed both the milk and the nursing relationship, but it was not possible for her to give. They did the best they could under the circumstances.

I know of another parent who, like myself, is breastfeeding after having had chest surgery. She makes enough milk to have the occasional let-down, but does not have a full supply. Her toddler is two and a half years old and nurses a lot AND gets a significant amount of milk in bottles. Early on, they used a supplementer, but they eventually got to a point where the child no longer wanted it. Their nursing relationship is still very strong.

In another example, the parent of a friend of mine used a supplementer due to her diagnosis of insufficient glandular tissue (IGT), and continued nursing until her child was three. As a toddler, the child would ask for "big milk" when she wanted to nurse using the supplementer, and "little milk" when she wanted to bare nurse. Given the variety of stories I'd heard, I decided to just keep doing what we were doing, since it seemed to work okay for both of us. We switched to putting cow's milk in the supplementer when we could no longer get donated human milk, with no apparent ill effects.

The issue came up again last fall when Diana West came to Winnipeg for a conference. She is the author of Defining Your Own Success: Breastfeeding After Reduction Surgery, and, of course, she is an expert on at-breast supplementation. She stayed with us for a few nights, and was shocked to see just how much supplement we prepared to take to bed with us in the evenings. I felt so busted! If I remember correctly, the much-admired breastfeeding authority said that Jacob doesn't need much milk at this point – it is the nursing relationship that he wants and needs. She reminded me that he was getting some milk from me. She also enthused about how much easier my life would become if I no longer needed to carry supplement around on outings or take it with me to bed at night.

I tried harder this time to wean ourselves from our crutch, but with the same result as before. If I didn't use the supplement, Jacob would quickly get frustrated. The universal and incredibly irritating toddler habit of nipple twiddling got infinitely worse (not surprisingly, this is something babies do to try to get a let-down!), and I again couldn't get him back to sleep at night. To add to the troubles, nursing without much coming out was quite uncomfortable for me, too. Jacob will be two in April, and this is where things stand: we still use lots of supplement at night, during naps, and to re-connect at other points during the day. Sometimes we go on outings without it and I nurse him as needed, but often I take it along for back-up, and then don't end up using it.

As Jacob's vocabulary increases, he is beginning to express how he would like to nurse. He says "nay-nay" for nursing, but also "milk" when he wants to use the supplementer. Sometimes he pleads with me "up!" and "fridge!", until I get up and grab the supplement from the fridge. Other times I ask him if he wants me to get the extra milk and he shakes his head "no" while he is latched on. Ultimately, Diana and everyone else said that we have to do what works for us, and I couldn't agree more. We'll let you know as we go.

Trans Kids and Reproductive Choices

Trans kids today have new options for transition. Few people even know about these possibilities, although awareness is increasing. In my own pre-teen years, I noticed that my girlfriends were starting to change, and I felt different from them. In my private, inner thoughts, I believed I should be a gay boy, but that seemed so very far from what was possible in reality that I wondered from time to time if I was crazy. I didn't know about the existence of transgender people until I was an older teenager, and even then, I had no idea that trans kids could access any kind of specialized medical help.

Photo: Visit Cape May (Creative Commons)

Hormone blockers have long been used to delay the development of secondary sex characteristics in children experiencing precocious puberty. More recently, paediatricians have started prescribing them for trans kids. This prevents a female-to-male (FtM) trans boy from growing unwanted breasts and experiencing other pubescent changes. In the case of a male-to-female (MtF) trans girl, the blockers halt all the powerful effects of testosterone, including deepening of the voice and changing of the face shape. At age 16 or 18, depending on who you're talking to, patients can begin taking synthetic hormones so that they will develop the secondary sex characteristics of their intended gender, or they can take nothing and develop according to their genetics.

The effects of the hormone blockers are completely reversible. Nevertheless, if an FtM teenager takes them and then takes testosterone as a young adult, his female sexual organs will not mature. I don't know if they would ever mature if he stopped taking the testosterone some years later. Testosterone use in FtM trans guys who transitioned after puberty can cause female sex organs to atrophy, and may also result in polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), which can lead to permanent infertility. I haven't been able to find good information concerning its effect on individuals who used hormone blockers and never produced natal hormones.

If I'd known about hormone blockers and the possibility of transitioning earlier in my life, would I have done so? I don't know. I didn't have the social supports necessary for transition at that time. It's hard to separate such a support system from an individual's emotional readiness. I wonder if I may have been much happier earlier in my life if I'd been able to transition as a teenager. I don't know if the choice would have been as clear for me at age 12 or 14 as it was at 23.

If you had asked me when I was ten years old if I thought I would ever want to birth a baby, or even adopt one, I would have for sure said no. At age twenty and even twenty-four, I would have still said no. Nobody asked me. When discussing transition, I don't remember being asked by my therapist, family doctor or endocrinologist if I thought I ever would want to have kids. My surgeon definitely didn't talk to me about future breastfeeding. I'm guessing that most trans people and their health care providers assume that infertility is the price we pay for transitioning. Recently, some people have accused me of wanting to "have it all" – meaning the correct gender identity and my child. Well, isn't that what most others can enjoy?

I didn't contemplate having a relationship and a family until after I'd taken testosterone and had top surgery. I wasn't content enough before that to have any inkling of what I really wanted in that regard. Now, my son and my husband are the most precious parts of my life.

Do I think that trans kids shouldn't take hormone blockers so that they can maintain their reproductive potential? Do I think they shouldn't transition at a young age? No and no. Each individual has to make his or her own decision. Others can guess at how badly someone needs to transition and when, but only the person contemplating transition can really know. Some trans kids suffer from such severe gender dysphoria that they are depressed and even suicidal. These children often feel that they need to transition as soon as possible. Others, like I was, can kind of manage by keeping very busy and not being terribly self-aware – they might not need to transition as urgently.

Sometimes I wish that I could wake up in the morning with a physiologically male body, but I would never trade my baby for anything. Most of the time, I enjoy traveling my unique path. I am comfortable enough with my male-sounding voice, my beard, and my flat chest. The parts of me that I don't love so much are what helped to make the family I love so deeply. This is my conundrum.

Malunggay: Breast Milk Super Vegetable

For those of us whose jeans are noticeably tighter as a result of endless holiday feasts, this is a post about an Asian super vegetable, called malunggay, that happens to be great for breast milk production. Ian and I need this more than most right now because we just returned from a trip visiting (and eating heartily with) Jacob's grandparents, after celebrating Christmas at numerous indulgent gatherings with our friends here in Winnipeg. It has all added up to way more meat, baked goods, and candy than we care to admit. We came home vowing to exercise more, eat healthier, and to avoid buying anything other than fresh produce since our pantry is overflowing with slimming foods like lentils and beans (nice that these foods have already been purchased – flying across the country was wonderful, but pricey).

Cooking malunggay into a curry

I first heard about malunggay when my dear friend and the very fancy author Diana West came to Winnipeg to speak at the Baby Friendly Conference in the fall. As a lactation consultant, she says that malunggay is her number one go-to food for increasing milk production. It is native to the foothills of the Himalaya and is sometimes called moringa, horseradish tree, benzolive tree, kelor, marango, mlonge, moonga, nébéday, saijhan, sajna or Ben oil tree. India is the largest producer of Malunggay, although it is also grown in the Philippines, Thailand, Taiwan, Malaysia, Africa, and Central and South America. Cultivation is in early stages in Hawaii for the US market.

Malunggay grows as a slender tree, with all its parts, including bark, stems, roots and leaves, being edible. The most nutritious part of the plant is the leaves, which contain, gram per gram, "SEVEN times the vitamin C in oranges, FOUR times the Calcium in milk, FOUR times the vitamin A in carrots, TWO times the protein in milk and THREE times the Potassium in bananas." A double blind study suggested that consuming malunggay leaves has a considerable positive impact on breast milk production.

Malunggay helps increase milk production

A number of companies include malunggay in capsules meant to increase one's milk supply, but I prefer to buy it fresh. I have found the leaves at several local Asian markets. I simply asked, "malunggay?" and got pointed in the right direction by someone who knew. The leaves are very versatile ingredients – they are wonderful in soup, but also delicate enough to be added fresh as a garnish to salads. One of the most traditional dishes that includes malunggay leaves is sour Thai curry.

Wish us luck with our New Year's resolution and let me know if you come up with your own great malunggay recipes. I'd love to hear them!

Breastfeeding: My ultimate parenting tool

I am so grateful for nay-nay. That's Jacob's term for nursing, one that he started using about two weeks ago. Before that, I relied on cues like his thumb sucking and pulling at my shirt buttons to figure out when he wanted to breastfeed.


We've entered a new stage of toddlerhood that I'm told is normal, and familiar to parents everywhere. It's called "NNNNNNNNOO!" It is accompanied by furrowed little eyebrows, pursed lips, and flailing arms and legs.

This morning when we woke up, I tried to kiss Jacob on the forehead, and he said, "NNNNNOO!" I asked him, "Do you want eggs or oatmeal for breakfast?" I got, "NNNNNOO!" Later, he brought me his boots, and I said, "Good idea, we'll go outside," to which he responded, "NNNNOO!" In the afternoon, I said, "I love you, you're sooooo sweet," and, you can guess it, he replied, "NNNNNOO!"

Mercifully, he is almost always happy to nurse, and frequently asks for his nay-nay. In these moments of peace that punctuate Jacob's otherwise limitless and energetic curiosity, I know that he loves me. He is busier than any person I know, constantly exploring the world and striving to be independent, until he insists that he needs nay-nay.

I need it, too. Nursing is my most effective parenting tool. When Jacob is overwhelmed with frustration over having to take turns with a toy or eat only one treat instead of ALL the treats, we can turn to nay-nay to cope with the exploding emotions.

I once read a wonderful essay on this subject by Ruth Kamnitzer, a Canadian woman raising her child in Mongolia. She described how Mongolian mothers and even grandmas and grandpas literally wave their breasts around to try to distract toddlers in the middle of an argument. Instead of tediously explaining how to share, over and over again, they simply breastfeed, with a 100% success rate. Finally, I understand this anecdote on a personal level. I can open my shirt and point to my nipples, saying "nay-nay!" and thereby get Jacob to calm down and nurse.

In public, I don't often use nay-nay as a parenting tool, but I know that it is available in my repertoire if we need it. Tonight, for example, a well-meaning stranger tried to pick Jacob up to help him into a shopping wagon. He turned and ran from her, utterly terrified. As I held him, he gasped for breath and said a broken "nay-nay," a request that I couldn't possibly deny. I unzipped my winter coat and sweater and nursed him at the check-out counter. I waited for Ian to pay, and then we walked out of the store together, Jacob still nursing, his sobs slowing down. Ian smiled at us and nodded, agreeing, "Nay-nay."

Posted with Blogsy